A common theme, my life has, I am thinking.

(I spoke like Yoda!)

Yesterday I had an interview for a scholarship. It was very nerve-wracking, being there with many other competitors. I was so nervous, but I felt like it would be okay. I read my scriptures before and said a prayer to calm myself. Yet, I know that whatever happens is God’s will.

When I got home at 5:30, I went straight to mutual to help decorate for a special activity. We were going to Hawaii! We made the primary room our airplane, complete with aisles and classes. I was smack-dab in front of one of the loudest kids. Being one of the gals in charge, I was super anxious for everything to be perfect. After sitting in front of the hyper boy behind me, and having a violent one next to me, I worried it might not turn out. Of course, I was probably being over-sensitive. Haha

We settled down to watch a bit of Johnny Lingo. After the movie was over, we had a bit of a surprise (well, most of them did. I already knew about this) when our airplane started crashing! The lights flickered off, the walls seemed to shake (the YM leaders shook the dividers) and we all pretended to be afraid. The loud boy behind me screamed like a girl to get some laughs.

A group was quietly taken out, and we waited there in the dark. Then it was my class’ turn, and we were led out. We were taken to the gym, which was cold and empty, and we sat on the floor to talk. The speaker said we were in the Telestial kingdom. The speaker sort of got on my nerves, just because our personalities sort of clashed, and I didn’t want to stay there. Also I was still annoyed about the loud kids. Ha. I needed to get over myself a bit.

Finally it was time to go to the next kingdom. It was the Terrestrial kingdom! We talked about the sort of people who would go there, the glory of it, etc. Jesus Christ is the person assigned to this Kingdom, but he doesn’t live in it. I felt like this kingdom was nice (it was in the Relief Society room, by the way) but it didn’t feel like home, and neither Christ nor Heavenly Father lived here! I would be single and separate the whole time. This was a sad thought to me.

We continued to the Celestial kingdom, where the Mormon Tabernacle was playing from a CD. One by one we were led in. We shook hands with our leaders, or hugged them (gotta love those YW leaders ) as they told us “Welcome home,” “You made it,” “Welcome,” with beaming smiles and bright eyes. I felt so happy, like this was the place for me. I smiled with joy as I passed down the aisle amid my smiling leaders and took my seat.

We listened to a neat talk by a couple in my ward whom I love. One thing that was said was that we don’t have to be perfect to be in the Celestial kingdom. Heavenly Father knows, and knew, we would mess up. It is for this reason He gave us the Atonement. Through the blood of Christ we can be cleansed.

Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

(Old Testament | Isaiah 1:18)

 

For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent;
But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I;
Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—
Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men.

(Doctrine and Covenants | Section 19:16 - 19)

At the close, we opened the time up for testimony baring. I bore mine, and invited all to come up. There was silence for about thirty seconds, which seemed longer. Finally, a boy I really look up to got up. He bore a simple testimony that helped others get up. I was so proud of the youth in our ward. So happy. Some leaders got up as well. The spirit was so strong. I told them in my testimony that none of those kingdoms felt like home, until we got to the Celestial kingdom. I think of the Celestial kingdom as home. I can’t wait until we all go home, but until then we must do what our Father would have us do.

In a dream Joseph F. Smith had on his mission (he was 15 at the time, it is interesting to note), he was walking on a sort of trail with a backpack on his back. He eventually decided to look inside the backpack and found a clean change of clothes. He paused to change, and then he continued on. A large and beautiful mansion arose into sight. He went to the door, and knocked. Joseph Smith, the prophet and his uncle, answered the door. Inside were many of the righteous and great men of this dispensation. Joseph looked at his nephew and said, “Joseph, you are late.” To which Joseph F replied, “Yes, but I am clean.”

That is what is important. Are we clean? Ponder the scriptures below, and ask the Father with your heart open, if you are clean.

Do ye exercise faith in the redemption of him who created you?  Do you look forward with an eye of faith, and view this mortal body raised in immortality, and this corruption raised in incorruption, to stand before God to be judged according to the deeds which have been done in the mortal body?
I say unto you, can you imagine to yourselves that ye hear the voice of the Lord, saying unto you, in that day: Come unto me ye blessed, for behold, your works have been the works of righteousness upon the face of the earth?
Or do ye imagine to yourselves that ye can lie unto the Lord in that day, and say—Lord, our works have been righteous works upon the face of the earth—and that he will save you?
Or otherwise, can ye imagine yourselves brought before the tribunal of God with your souls filled with guilt and remorse, having a remembrance of all your guilt, yea, a perfect remembrance of all your wickedness, yea, a remembrance that ye have set at defiance the commandments of God?
I say unto you, can ye look up to God at that day with a pure heart and clean hands?  I say unto you, can you look up, having the image of God engraven upon your countenances?
I say unto you, can ye think of being saved when you have yielded yourselves to become subjects to the devil?
I say unto you, ye will know at that day that ye cannot be saved; for there can no man be saved except his garments are washed white; yea, his garments must be purified until they are cleansed from all stain, through the blood of him of whom it has been spoken by our fathers, who should come to redeem his people from their sins.
And now I ask of you, my brethren, how will any of you feel, if ye shall stand before the bar of God, having your garments stained with blood and all manner of filthiness?
(Book of Mormon | Alma 5:15 - 22)

The beautiful thing is that we can all be clean. Really. I love this fact. That Jesus Christ knew me, and knew I would mess up. Yet, I can still be clean, just as Jesus is clean, if I apply His atonement. How beautiful! How grateful I feel today for the Atonement! It is through His Atonement that I can come home again, to be clasped in the arms of Jesus.

I will hear Him say to me, “Welcome Home.”

See you there?

Love,

Mariah

P.S. Thanks for reading this longer post. It contains the things of my soul.