When I was about five something special happened; I started Kindergarten. Dear old Willard Elementary! Strangely, I don't remember learning at all... I do remember playing outside with friends, chasing them around. I had this spot with my very best friends in between these two large pine trees. We would go into that snug space to the old drinking fountain nestled inside. My friends and I would play, hide, poke one another, laugh and then do it all over again.
Every time I hear “Dream” by Priscilla Ahn, I think of these moments. I am five years old again, playing with my best friends. I don't think of the future all that much, and I am content with being me. As I continue listening, I can feel the different stages of the life I have lived so far.
In the song Priscilla Ahn tells a bit about her dreams. At first she says she had a dream she could fly from the highest swing. That is the kind of goal we have when we're young, right? We want to fly out of that grand ole swing and go as far as we can. Then as we develop and change, the swing isn't high enough. We're ready for grander heights, and Priscilla Ahn changes the swing to a tree, and then finally to the highest wing. Just like the idea in this song, my dreams have morphed, changed, been fulfilled, or forgotten—and that, to me, is what this song is all about.
I have come to realize that as our dreams change, we change as well. This can be good or it can be bad. I remember being quite freaked out when I first went to High School. My group of friends drastically changed. Suddenly those best friends I had acquired all throughout my elementary school career were into different things. Suddenly instead of bursting at the seems with conversation, it was a struggle to feel comfortable. It was a huge shock for me.
During the summer prior to my Senior year of High School I came across “Everybody's Changing” by Keane. It perfectly captured that feeling I had then. I felt the same, but all of my friends were changing! In the first verse Keane introduces someone who says they're going to stay the same. The singer responds, “but I don't see how you can”. Truth be told, I can't either anymore. How is it possible to stay the same when our experiences are constantly changing? We laugh, hurt, love, cry, learn, grow, and develop. This has since caused me to wonder... Who had changed? My friends, or I? As I grew older I learned that I didn't want to be the same anymore. I wanted to stay myself. I will laugh, hurt, love, and cry if it means I will be better than before.
I have learned many lessons from music throughout my life so far. I feel that as I continue developing another song that I love will always be applicable. In the end, when all is said and done, I just have to remember not to be afraid. “Be Not Afraid” by Jenny Phillips is a song that gets me right to the core, and helps me to be strong when I feel weak. I feel immense comfort and relief within seconds of its start. The word that comes to mind is sanctuary.
The road of my life has had potholes in it, like most everyone else's. There have been times when I have had to appear stronger than I really feel, or even am. I try my hardest to have a cheery disposition and bright faith that the future will be clearer, when in reality, I am often as scared as the next gal. Sometimes I get to the end of my rope and have no idea what I am doing or where to go next. I start wanting to give up. Inevitably, this song will come on soon after these bitter feelings. It comes as a relief, renewing my energy and brightening my hope. I soon find I have the strength to go on, and not only am I trying to be bright and cheery and believing—I actually am all those things.
To me this song is saying, “Don't give up! There is someone who loves you more than you will ever know, and you will not be alone on this journey. Let your heart believe.” Believe. I tell myself to believe I am worth something--worth a lot actually. I believe I am a part of something bigger than status, High School, and all the world offers.
It is truly amazing the way we can attach ourselves to music. I know that these songs will forever mean something to me. I find it ironic that even now I am attaching new meanings, even new memories, to these songs. It is my hope that I will continue to find beautiful music which will help me to feel empowered, uplifted, and ready for the future. This is the soundtrack of my life so far.
Works Cited:
Jenny Phillips. “Be Not Afraid.” Strong and Courageous: Songs For Youth 2010. Shadow Mountain Records, 2009. MP3.
Keane. “Everybody's Changing.” Hopes and Fears. Island, 2004. CD.
Priscilla Ahn. “Dream.” A Good Day. Blue Note Records, 2008. MP3.
No comments:
Post a Comment